City Considers Shelter for Homeless Chickens...you've got to be kidding!

I read the following story on the Vancouver Sun website (dateline April 1) and thought about posting it since it as a very clever April Fools Day prank. But now I realize it is a story in TODAY'S paper....April 2! Please, please tell me this story is not for real.

City considers building a shelter for homeless chickens

Now that some homeowners are allowed to keep the birds, officials expect some to be abandoned when reality sets in

By TIFFANY CRAWFORD, Vancouver SunApril 1, 2010Comments (43)

Photograph by: Stuart Davis, Vancouver Sun

VANCOUVER - Anticipating a wave of buyers’ remorse, city staff are recommending the city build a special shelter for hens they expect will be abandoned by owners having second thoughts.

The 36-page report to city council details every change the city will have to make before backyard egg farmers will be allowed to set up shop. In March 2009, council lifted a 30-year prohibition on keeping urban hens and directed staff to develop the guidelines.

The report deals with everything from the decibel levels of crowing roosters, which will not be allowed, to pest control techniques to ward off marauding rats hunting for chicken feed.

Apartment dwellers will not be allowed to keep chickens on their patios, as the guidelines say only single- and multi-family homes will be allowed to house hens.

The report recommends the city spend $20,000 of the community services budget to build a facility at the Vancouver Animal Control shelter to house seized or abandoned hens.

“Even now we get the odd hen or rooster in the shelter,” said Tom Hammel, the city’s chief licence inspector. “So there will be more.”

To keep the numbers down, as well as reduce the risk of avian flu, the report says residents may keep no more than four hens, which must be older than four months.

“We don’t want people buying cute fuzzy chicks on impulse and then finding out they don’t want them,” said Hammel.

Jordan Maynard, manager of Southlands Farm in Vancouver, says some urban chicken farmers may get fed up with their hens if they buy the wrong breed.

“If they get birds that are bred for meat they won’t be suitable for the backyard. Those birds are pathetic. They don’t walk properly and they grow too fast and they will just lay on their side and not lay eggs,” he said.

Also, hens usually stop laying eggs after about six years and residents may not want to kill them, but they may not want to keep them either, he said. “It depends on whether people come to think of them as pets.”

People who tire of their chickens won’t have a problem finding them new homes, Maynard said. “I’ve heard that someone on Saltspring Island is starting a retirement home for chickens.”

Hammel said the city does not recommend people give away their hens to large chicken farms because of the risk of spreading avian flu to commercial stocks.

The report includes guidelines to minimize odour, stating that coops must only be kept in a back or side yard, and that owners must remove the manure and keep the food and water inside the coop.

Those who want to kill their hens must take them to a veterinarian or farm for slaughter.

The guidelines will go before the planning and environment committee next Thursday. Should the committee approve, the report will go to public hearing May 18.

Health concerns and noise complaints were the main reasons urban chickens were not allowed in the past. But now the city says chickens have important environmental benefits.

The about-face comes as the city strives to be the greenest in the world. According to the report, by providing eggs for urban residents and fertilizer for urban gardens, backyard hens contribute to local food production, which “reduces the city’s carbon footprint.”

Hammel said there will be an online registry that owners must sign so the city can locate the chickens in case of an outbreak of disease. There will be no licence fee to keep the birds.

ticrawford@vancouversun.com

© Copyright (c) The Vancouver Sun

A final thought on April Fools Day 2010

In case you missed it, CBC’s The Early Edition did a fascinating story on April 1st about a proposed new floating community in False Creek and the Port Moody waterfront. (It would be in FC in the summer, and PM in the winter.) It was anchored by the Expo 86 McDonalds Barge, which would serve as the community centre.

I didn’t catch all the discussion, but did listen to Mayor Trasolini and former City Planner Larry Beasley speaking in support of the proposal. The mayor of Vancouver was scheduled to speak as well.

As I listened to Trasolini and Beasley articulating all the benefits of the proposal, contrary to their true personal convictions, (Beasley as always was particularly eloquent), I couldn’t help but think how good both planners and politicians are at supporting any position with a deep sense of conviction, regardless of their personal views.

It got me thinking....It seems that almost everyday is now April Fools Day, especially when it comes to the planning of False Creek and BC Place precinct, the need for rental housing programs, iconic taller buildings and view corridors, and housing solutions for the homeless.

Of course, I’m just being a fool!

Panic Room (2002)

Panic Room is a 2002 thriller film directed by David Fincher, and starring Jodie Foster and Forest Whitaker. It also stars Jared Leto, Dwight Yoakam, and Kristen Stewart. The film tells a story of a mother and a daughter hiding in a panic room during an invasion by three armed robbers aimed at millions of dollars stored in the house.

Plot

Meg Altman (Jodie Foster), recently divorced from the owner of a pharmaceutical giant, and her 11-year-old daughter Sarah (Kristen Stewart), who has diabetes, have just purchased a four-story brownstone townhouse on West 94th Street that was previously owned by a disabled, reclusive millionaire. It has a panic room, an isolated room used to protect the owner from an intruder that is protected by a four-inch-thick steel door and an impressive security system, and features a separate phone line. On the night the two move into the home, it is broken into by Junior (Leto), the grandson of the previous owner, and Burnham (Whitaker), an employee of the security company used by the residence. The two are after $3 million in bearer bonds, which is locked inside a floor safe in the panic room. Unknown to Burnham until after they've broken in, Junior has recruited Raoul (Yoakam), a bus driver who lives in Flatbush, to assist in the heist.

After discovering that the Altmans have moved into the home one week before they anticipated, Junior convinces a reluctant Burnham to go on as planned with the heist. However, Meg wakes up and discovers the intruders from the CCTV monitors in the panic room when she wanted to switch off its glaring light. Before the three can stop her, she runs to Sarah, wakes her, and they escape to the panic room.

The Altmans make several attempts to call for help, including signaling a nearby neighbor (whom they can only see through the opening of a ventilation pipe) with a flashlight and tapping into the main telephone line to call for help (because Meg has not yet hooked up the panic room's phone). Only one works; the two get through to Meg's ex-husband and Sara's father, Stephan, before the burglars cut them off. To make matters worse, Sarah suffers a seizure due to hypoglycemia caused by her diabetes and unfortunately her emergency glucose syringe is in the refrigerator, located in her bedroom upstairs.

When all attempts to get into the room fail, Junior, who's been burned on his forearm and part of his face, lets it slip that there is much more money in the panic room than he let on, and gives up. Upon trying to leave the house, Junior is shot in the head by Raoul, who forces Burnham, at gunpoint, to finish the robbery. Stephan Altman arrives at the home and is then taken hostage by Raoul and Burnham. Raoul severely beats him. They then use the unconscious Altman to trick Meg (who is desperate to get the glucose syringe for Sarah) into momentarily exiting the panic room. Raoul ambushes her and a brief struggle ensues which ultimately results in Raoul, whose fingers are crushed by the sliding steel door, and Burnham becoming trapped in the panic room with the critical Sarah, and Meg outside with Raoul's gun. However Meg was able to throw in the glucose syringe in time and begs the two intruders over the intercom to give Sarah the injection, which Burnham, being the more humane of the two, later does.

However, two police patrolmen arrive, having received a call from Stephan earlier. With Sarah trapped with the two burglars, and Raoul threatening to kill her, Meg lies to the officers. Meanwhile, Burnham gets to work on the safe and obtains the bearer bonds, worth $22 million. As the duo attempt to leave while using Sarah as a hostage, Meg and the badly injured Stephan attack them. After an intense struggle, Burnham flees while Raoul prepares to kill Meg with a sledgehammer. However, upon hearing Sarah's screams of terror, Burnham doubles back and kills Raoul, which delays him enough that he gets caught by the police who return as the earlier patrolman was suspicious at Meg's behavior. As they approach, he releases the bonds, letting them fly off into the night and kneels in surrender.

Following the trouble with the home invasion Meg and Sarah begin searching for a new house in the newspaper.

It's April Fool's Day

It's April 1st. Over the years I have undertaken a number of pranks, but my two favourites were tied to the marketing of Elm Park Place, a condominium project I built in the 90's at Larch and West 41st in Kerrisdale.



About 12 years ago, tied in with a visit by Prince Charles to the city, I arranged for a report in the Courier that the Prince was rumoured to have purchased a Kerrisdale condominium near a park. A number of excited purchasers contacted me to ask whether he had bought at Elm Park place. However, my favourite call was from a purchaser who was furious that I would sell to a member of the royal family without consulting with other purchasers. "How are we going to manage with all the extra security?" she wanted to know.



The following year I wrote an 'advertorial' that the provincial government had secretly approved a SkyTrain extension along West 41st with a station at Larch and West 41st. A surprising number of people were fooled, including one of my daughter's Crofton House classmates who brought in a copy of the Courier as her 'show and tell' story. "There's going to be a SkyTrain to Crofton House" she exclaimed. My daughter had to explain that it was just one of her dad's April Fools' Day jokes. Unfortunately, the girl had never heard of April Fools' Day.While some people get quite upset about April Fools' Day pranks, I think they can be wonderful. Below are excerpts from the list of 100 pranks on the museumofhoaxes.com website:

3: Instant Color TV

1962: In 1962 there was only one tv channel in Sweden, and it broadcast in black and white. The station's technical expert, Kjell Stensson, appeared on the news to announce that, thanks to a new technology, viewers could convert their existing sets to display color reception. All they had to do was pull a nylon stocking over their tv screen. Stensson proceeded to demonstrate the process. Thousands of people were taken in. Regular color broadcasts only commenced in Sweden on April 1, 1970.

10: Planetary Alignment Decreases Gravity

1976: The British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on BBC Radio 2 that at 9:47 AM a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event was going to occur that listeners could experience in their very own homes. The planet Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, temporarily causing a gravitational alignment that would counteract and lessen the Earth's own gravity. Moore told his listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment that this planetary alignment occurred, they would experience a strange floating sensation. When 9:47 AM arrived, BBC2 began to receive hundreds of phone calls from listeners claiming to have felt the sensation. One woman even reported that she and her eleven friends had risen from their chairs and floated around the room.

20: The 26-Day Marathon

1981: The Daily Mail ran a story about an unfortunate Japanese long-distance runner, Kimo Nakajimi, who had entered the London Marathon but, on account of a translation error, thought that he had to run for 26 days, not 26 miles. Reportedly Nakajimi was now somewhere out on the roads of England, still running, determined to finish the race. Various people had spotted him, though they were unable to flag him down. The translation error was attributed to Timothy Bryant, an import director, who said, "I translated the rules and sent them off to him. But I have only been learning Japanese for two years, and I must have made a mistake. He seems to be taking this marathon to be something like the very long races they have over there."

#38: Operation Parallax

1979: London's Capital Radio announced that Operation Parallax would soon go into effect. This was a government plan to resynchronize the British calendar with the rest of the world. It was explained that ever since 1945 Britain had gradually become 48 hours ahead of all other countries because of the constant switching back and forth from British Summer Time. To remedy this situation, the British government had decided to cancel April 5 and 12 that year. Capital Radio received numerous calls as a result of this announcement. One employer wanted to know if she had to pay her employees for the missing days. Another woman was curious about what would happen to her birthday, which fell on one of the cancelled days.

#43: An Interview with President Carter

2001: Michael Enright, host of the Sunday Edition of the Canadian Broadcasting Corpation's radio program This Morning, interviewed former President Jimmy Carter on the air. The interview concerned Canada's heavily subsidized softwood lumber industry, about which Carter had recently written an editorial piece in The New York Times. The interview took a turn for the worse when Enright began telling Carter to speed up his answers. Then Enright asked, "I think the question on everyone's mind is, how did a washed-up peanut farmer from Hicksville such as yourself get involved in such a sophisticated bilateral trade argument?" Carter seemed stunned by the insult. Finally he replied, "Excuse me? A washed-up peanut farmer? You're one to talk, sir. Didn't you used to be on the air five times a week?" The tone of the interview did not improve from there. Carter ended up calling Enright a "rude person" before he hung up. Enright then revealed that the interview had been fake. The Toronto comedian Ray Landry had been impersonating Carter's voice. The interview generated a number of angry calls from listeners who didn't find the joke funny. But the next day the controversy reached even larger proportions when the Globe and Mail reported the interview as fact on their front pages. The editor of the Globe and Mail later explained that he hadn't realized the interview was a hoax because it was "a fairly strange issue and a strange person to choose as a spoof."

#58: Portable Zip Codes

2004: National Public Radio's All Things Considered announced that the post office had begun a new 'portable zip codes' program. This program, inspired by an FCC ruling that allowed phone users to take their phone number with them when they moved, would allow people to also take their zip code with them when they moved, no matter where they moved to. It was hoped that with this new program zip codes would come to symbolize "a citizen's place in the demographic, rather than geographic, landscape." Assistant Postmaster General Lester Crandall was quoted as saying, "Every year millions of Americans are on the go: People who must relocate for work or other reasons. Those people may have been quite attached to their original homes or an adopted town or city of residence. For them this innovative measure will serve as an umbilical cord to the place they love best."

#93: Eiffel Tower Moves

The Parisien stunned French citizens in 1986 when it reported that an agreement had been signed to dismantle the Eiffle Tower. The international symbol of French culture would then be reconstructed in the new Euro Disney theme park going up east of Paris. In the space where the Tower used to stand, a 35,000 seat stadium would be built for use during the 1992 Olympic Games.

#95: Chunnel Blunder

In 1990 the News of the World reported that the Chunnel project, which was already suffering from huge cost overruns, would face another big additional expense caused by a colossal engineering blunder. Apparently the two halves of the tunnel, being built simultaneously from the coasts of France and England, would miss each other by 14 feet. The error was attributed to the fact that French engineers had insisted on using metric specifications in their blueprints. The mistake would reportedly cost $14 billion to fix.

100: The British Postal Address Turnabout

In 1977 the BBC gave airtime to Tom Jackson, General Secretary of the British Union of Post Office Workers. Mr. Jackson was up in arms about a recent proposal that the British mail adopt the German method of addressing envelopes in which the house number is written after the name of the road, not before it (i.e. Downing Street 10, instead of 10 Downing Street). Jackson spoke at great length about the enormous burden this change would place upon postal employees, insisting that "Postal workers would be furious because it would turn upside-down the way we have learned to sort." His comments elicited an immediate reaction from the audience, many of whom phoned up to voice their support for Jackson's campaign. What the audience didn't realize was that there were no plans to change the way the British addressed their mail. Mr. Jackson's diatribe was an elaborate April Fool's Day joke.

Next year, I will try and come up with something!

Good Friday SMS Messages, good friday sms, good friday message, good friday wishes, good friday messages, good friday greeting

Good Friday SMS Messages, good friday sms, good friday message, good friday wishes, good friday messages, good friday greeting

When u face problems in life
don't ask GOD to take them away
Ask Him to show His purpose
Ask ways how to live a day searching his purpose for you.




**************



Good Friday marks the slaying of our Jesus
The unblemished lamb, the perfect sacrifice.
He took our guilt and blame upon Himself
So we could be with Him in paradise.




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A perfect God demands a perfect justice
He cannot let us get away with sin.
We used God's gift of our free will to trespass
So heaven's gates were closed; we couldn't get in




**************



Da cross was 2 pieces of dead wood
and a helpless unresisting Man was
nailed 2 it yet it was mightier dan
da world and triumphed & will




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May on this GOOD FRIDAY we start it with
Fasting and Prayers so that we can bring
God's mercy and forgiveness on all mankind
Lets Pray toge....
s



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I am da witness 2 his fearless death
I am a token of his last promise - 4giveness
I am da CROSS Blessings on Good Friday....




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GOOD FRIDAY in my heart! Fear & affright!
My thoughts are the Disciples when they fled,
My words the words that priest & soldier said
My deed the spear to desecrate the dead




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In his last supper, Jesus gav his body and blood for us!
Let us remember this beautify act of the Lord on this Maundy Thursday.
Happy Maundy Thursday!




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What hard travail God does in death,
He strives in sleep, in our despair,
And all flesh shudders underneath,
The nightmare of His sepulchre....




**************



Feel good when somebody Miss u.
Feel better when somebody Loves u.
But feel best when somebody never forgets u.
Good Friday..




**************



When u face problems in life,
don't ask GOD to take them away.
Ask Him to show His purpose,
Ask ways how to live a day searching his purpose for u.




**************



The Lord lights up our way into eternal bliss. Good Friday!



**************



NABI KAREEM (S.A.W) Ne Farmaya:
"Log Jumma Kay Choor Deney Se Baaz Aa Jayen,
Nahi To ALLAH Un K Diloon Par Mohar Kr Dega,
Ke Woh Ghaafiloon Main Se Ho Jayen Gaay."
(MUSLIM)




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May the ALLAH ALMIGHTY Bless You on Good Friday!




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The god lights up our way in2 eternal bless.
Good Friday!



**************



Da cross was 2 pieces of dead wood; and a helpless, unresisting Man was nailed 2 it; yet it was mightier dan da world, and triumphed & will ever triumph over it.



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Death iz da justification of all da ways of da Christian, da last end of all his sacrifices, da touch of da Great Master which completes da picture.



**************



Thinking of U on
Good Friday
and praying dat
da Lord keep u
in his Luving care always...




**************



May da glory of our Savior
strengthen u
and May His Graces
Shine Upon u
On Good Friday & always!




**************



May da light of da
Lord's luv
shine on u and
Brighten ur Heart
on dis Holy Day
and Always.



**************



Praying dat da Lord
Holds u in His Luv
And blesses u wid
His grace... on dis
Holy Day & always!




**************



Mercy, Pleace & Luv
May da grace & Lord...
surround u & b wid u
on Good Friday




**************



I am da witness
2 his fearless death.
I am a token of his
last promise -
4giveness
I am da CROSS
Blessings on Good Friday




**************



And he said 2 them, 'Thus it iz written,
dat da Messiah is 2 suffer
and 2 rise frm da dead on da 3rd day...


May God Bless You on this Holy Day




**************



He showed us da way
He has long been gone
And yet in our hearts
His name shines on....
Wish u a Holy Friday!




**************



He bore it all in silence
Bcoz He held us dear
May He recieve our regards
May our Prayers he hear...
Celebrate Good Friday!




**************
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April Scream Queen: Kristen Stewart

Kristen Jaymes Stewart (born April 9, 1990) is an American actress. She is best known for playing Bella Swan in Twilight and New Moon, and will reprise her role in Eclipse. She has also starred in films such as Panic Room, Zathura, In the Land of Women, Adventureland, The Messengers and most recently, as rock star Joan Jett in The Runaways.

Early life

Kristen Stewart was born and raised in Los Angeles, California. Her father, John Stewart, is a stage manager and television producer who has worked for Fox. Her mother, Jules Mann-Stewart, is a script supervisor originally from Maroochydore, Queensland, Australia. She has an older brother, Cameron Stewart. Stewart attended school until the seventh grade, and then continued her education by correspondence. She has since completed high school.

Career

Stewart's acting career began at the age of eight, after an agent saw her perform in her elementary school's Christmas play. Stewart's first role was a nonspeaking part in the film The Thirteenth Year. Then, she had another part in the film The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas as the "ring toss girl." She subsequently appeared in the independent film The Safety of Objects, in which she played the tomboy daughter of a troubled single mother (Patricia Clarkson). Stewart had a major role in the Hollywood film Panic Room, playing the diabetic daughter of a divorced mother (Jodie Foster). The film received generally positive reviews, and Stewart garnered positive notices for her performance.

After Panic Room's success, Stewart was cast in another thriller, Cold Creek Manor, playing the daughter of Dennis Quaid's and Sharon Stone's characters; the film generally failed at the box office. Her first starring role followed, in the children's action-comedy Catch That Kid, opposite Max Thieriot and Corbin Bleu. Stewart also played the role of Lila in the thriller Undertow. To date, Stewart's most critically acclaimed role may be in the television film Speak, based on the novel by Laurie Halse Anderson. Stewart, 13 at the time of filming, played high school freshman Melinda Sordino, who stops almost all verbal contact after being raped and who deals with enormous amounts of emotional turmoil. Stewart received great praise for playing the character, who had only a few speaking lines, but kept up a dark-witted commentary inside her head throughout the film.

In 2005, Stewart appeared in the fantasy-adventure film Zathura, playing the role of Lisa, the irresponsible older sister of two little boys, who turn their house into a spacecraft hurtling uncontrollably in outer space by playing a board game. The film received praise by critics, but Stewart's performance did not garner much media attention, as it was noted that her character is immobilized during most of the film. The following year, she played the character Maya in Fierce People, directed by Griffin Dunne. After that film, she received the lead role of Jess Solomon in the supernatural thriller film The Messengers.

In 2007, Stewart appeared as teenager Lucy Hardwicke in In the Land of Women, a romantic drama starring Meg Ryan and The O.C. star Adam Brody. The film, as well as Stewart's performance, received mixed reviews. That same year, Stewart appeared in Sean Penn's critically acclaimed adaptation film Into the Wild. For her portrayal of Tracy — a teenage singer who has a crush on young adventurer Christopher McCandless — Stewart received generally positive reviews. Salon.com considered her work a "sturdy, sensitive performance," and the Chicago Tribune noted that she did "vividly well with a sketch of a role." Her performance was not without detractors, however; Variety's critic Dennis Harvey wrote, "It's unclear whether Stewart means to be playing hippie-chick Tracy as vapid, or whether it just comes off that way." After Into the Wild, Stewart had a cameo appearance in Jumper and also appeared in What Just Happened, which was released in October 2008. She also co-stars in The Cake Eaters an independent film that has only been screened at film festivals.

On November 16, 2007, Summit Entertainment announced that Stewart would play Isabella "Bella" Swan in the film Twilight, based on Stephenie Meyer's bestselling vampire romance novel of the same name. Stewart was on the set of Adventureland when director Catherine Hardwicke visited her for an informal screen test which "captivated" the director. She stars alongside Robert Pattinson, who plays Edward Cullen, her character's vampire boyfriend. The film began production in February 2008 and finished filming in May 2008. Twilight was released domestically on November 21, 2008. After the release of Twilight, Kristen Stewart was awarded the MTV Movie Award for Best Female Performance for her portrayal as Bella Swan. Stewart reappeared as Bella in the sequel, The Twilight Saga: New Moon, and will reprise this role in The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.

Stewart will star in a film called K-11 with Nikki Reed, also of Twilight, and Jason Mewes. The film, which is being directed by Stewart's mother, takes place in a dorm of the Los Angeles County Jail, and will feature both Stewart and Reed as male characters. Stewart was also cast to portray Joan Jett in The Runaways, a biopic of the titular band from writer-director Floria Sigismondi. Stewart met with Jett over the 2008-2009 New Year to prepare for the role, and ended up prerecording songs in a studio for the upcoming film. She has recently been nominated and presented with the BAFTA Rising Star award. She also stars alongside James Gandolfini in Welcome to the Rileys, which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in January 2010.

In 2009 Stewart starred in The Yellow Handkerchief, which debuted at the Sundance Film Festival and which was released into theaters on February 26, 2010 by Samuel Goldwyn Films. In the 2010 82nd Annual Academy Awards, Stewart and Twilight co-star Taylor Lautner presented a tribute in honour of the horror movie genre.

Happy Birthday John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester "The Libertine"

 

John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester (1 April 1647 – 26 July 1680) was an English Libertine, a friend of King Charles II, and the writer of much satirical and bawdy poetry.

Poe Forward's John Wilmot Poetry Page

He was the toast of the Restoration court and a patron of the arts. He married an heiress, Elizabeth Malet, and had many mistresses, including the actress Elizabeth Barry.

Life

Rochester was born in Ditchley, Oxfordshire. His father, Henry, Viscount Wilmot, a hard-drinking Royalist from Anglo-Irish stock, had been named Earl of Rochester in 1652 for military services to Charles II during his exile under the Commonwealth; he died abroad in 1658, two years before the restoration of the monarchy in England. His mother Anne St. John was a Royalist by descent and a staunch Anglican.

At the age of twelve, Rochester matriculated at Wadham College, Oxford, and there, it is said, he "grew debauched".[1] At fourteen he was awarded the degree of M.A. by Edward Hyde, Earl of Clarendon, who was Chancellor to the University and Rochester's uncle. After carrying out a Grand Tour of France and Italy, Rochester returned to London, where he graced the Restoration court. Later, his courage in a sea-battle against the Dutch made him a hero.

In 1667 he married Elizabeth Malet, a witty heiress whom he had attempted to abduct two years earlier. Samuel Pepys describes the event in his diary for 28 May 1665:

Thence to my Lady Sandwich's, where, to my shame, I had not been a great while before. Here, upon my telling her a story of my Lord Rochester's running away on Friday night last with Mrs. Mallett, the great beauty and fortune of the North, who had supped at White Hall with Mrs. Stewart, and was going home to her lodgings with her grandfather, my Lord Haly, by coach; and was at Charing Cross seized on by both horse and foot men, and forcibly taken from him, and put into a coach with six horses, and two women provided to receive her, and carried away. Upon immediate pursuit, my Lord of Rochester (for whom the King had spoke to the lady often, but with no successe [sic]) was taken at Uxbridge; but the lady is not yet heard of, and the King mighty angry, and the Lord sent to the Tower.[2]

Rochester's life was divided between domesticity in the country and a riotous existence at court, where he was renowned for drunkenness, vivacious conversation, and "extravagant frolics" as part of the Merry Gang[3] (as Andrew Marvell called them). The Merry Gang flourished for about 15 years after 1665 and included Henry Jermyn; Charles Sackville, Earl of Dorset; John Sheffield, Earl of Mulgrave; Henry Killigrew; Sir Charles Sedley; the playwrights William Wycherley and George Etherege; and George Villiers, Duke of Buckingham. Much of Rochester's poetry suggests that he was bisexual.

Rochester was fascinated by the theatre and was the model for the witty, poetry-reciting rake Dorimant in George Etherege's The Man of Mode (1676). According to an often repeated anecdote, his coaching of his mistress Elizabeth Barry began her career as the greatest actress of the Restoration stage.

In 1674, Rochester wrote a satire on Charles II (variously known simply as "Satyr" and by its first line, "In the Isle of Britain"), which criticised the King for being obsessed with sex at the expense of his kingdom. Charles reacted by briefly exiling Rochester from the court. During his brief exile, Rochester appears to have spent time at his estate in Adderbury and perhaps also posing as a merchant in London's old city. He then returned to his seat in the House of Lords after an absence of about seven weeks.[4]

Rochester fell into disfavor again in 1676. During a late-night scuffle with the night watch — a scuffle probably provoked by Rochester himself — one of Rochester's companions was killed by a pike-thrust. Rochester was reported to have fled the scene.[5]

Following this incident, Rochester briefly went underground, impersonating a quack physician, "Doctor Bendo." Under this persona, he claimed skill in treating "barrenness," i.e. infertility, and other gynecological disorders. Gilbert Burnet wryly noted that Rochester's practice was "not without success," implying his intercession of himself as surreptitious sperm donor.[6] On occasion, Rochester also assumed the role of the grave and matronly Mrs. Bendo, presumably so that he could inspect young women privately without arousing their suspicions.[7]

By the age of 33, Rochester was dying, presumably from syphilis, gonorrhea, other venereal diseases, as well as the effects of alcoholism. His mother had him attended in his final weeks by her religious associates, particularly Gilbert Burnet, who later became the Bishop of Salisbury. A deathbed renunciation of atheism was published and promulgated as the conversion of a prodigal. This became legendary, reappearing in numerous pious tracts over the next two centuries. Because the first published account of this story appears in Burnet's own writings, some have disputed its accuracy, suggesting that he shaped the account to enhance his own reputation. However, other sources, including documents signed by Rochester, confirm that in his final months his thoughts turned towards religion and the afterlife. In the early morning of 26 July, 1680, Rochester died 'without a shudder or a sound'.[8] Rochester was later buried at Spelsbury Church in Spelsbury, Oxfordshire.

Works

Because his interest in poetry was not professional, Rochester's poetic work varies widely in form, genre, and content. He was part of a "mob of gentlemen who wrote with ease",[9] who continued to produce their poetry in manuscripts, rather than in publication. As a consequence, some of Rochester's work deals with topical concerns, such as satires of courtly affairs in libels, to parodies of the styles of his contemporaries, such as Sir Charles Scroope. He is also notable for his impromptus,[10] one of which is a teasing epigram of King Charles II:

God bless our good and gracious king,

Whose promise none relies on;

Who never said a foolish thing,

Nor ever did a wise one.

To which Charles is reputed to have replied:

"That is true; for my words are my own, but my actions are those of my ministers."[11]

His poetry displays a wide range of learning, and a wide range of influences. These included imitations of Malherbe, Ronsard, and Boileau. Rochester also translated or adapted from classical authors such as Petronius, Lucretius, Ovid, Anacreon, Horace, and Seneca.

Rochester's writings were at once admired and infamous. A Satyr Against Mankind (1675), one of the few poems he published (in a broadside in 1679) is a scathing denunciation of rationalism and optimism that contrasts human perfidy with animal wisdom.

The majority of his poetry was not published under his name until after his death. Because most of his poems circulated only in manuscript form during his lifetime, it is likely that much of his writing does not survive. Burnet claimed that Wilmot's conversion experience led him to ask that “all his profane and lewd writings” be burned; it is unclear how much, if any, of Rochester's writing was destroyed.

Rochester was also interested in the theatre. In addition to an interest in the actresses, he wrote an adaptation of Fletcher's Valentinian (1685), a scene for Sir Robert Howard's The Conquest of China, a prologue to Elkanah Settle's The Empress of Morocco (1673), and epilogues to Sir Francis Fane's Love in the Dark (1675), Charles Davenant's Circe, a Tragedy (1677).

The best-known dramatic work attributed to Rochester, Sodom, or the Quintessence of Debauchery, has never been successfully proven to be written by him. However, supposed posthumous printings of Sodom gave rise to prosecutions for obscenity, and were destroyed. On 16 December 2004 one of the few surviving copies of Sodom was sold by Sotheby's for £45,600.[12]

Influence

Rochester has not lacked distinguished admirers. His contemporary Aphra Behn lauded him in verse and also based several rakish characters in her plays on Rochester. Anne Wharton wrote an elegy marking Rochester's death, which itself came to be praised by contemporary poets.[13] Horace Walpole described him as "a man whom the muses were fond to inspire but ashamed to avow".[14] Daniel Defoe quoted him in Moll Flanders,[15] and discussed Rochester in other works. Tennyson would recite from him with fervour.[citation needed] Voltaire, who spoke of Rochester as "the man of genius, the great poet", admired Rochester's satire for "energy and fire" and translated some lines into French to "display the shining imagination his lordship only could boast."[16] Goethe quoted A Satyr against Reason and Mankind in English in his Autobiography.[17] William Hazlitt commented that Rochester's "verses cut and sparkle like diamonds"[18] while his "epigrams were the bitterest, the least laboured, and the truest, that ever were written".[19] Referring to Rochester's perspective, Hazlitt wrote that "his contempt for everything that others respect almost amounts to sublimity."[19]

 

In drama and film

Wilmot served as the model for the witty, amoral nobleman Dorimant in George Etherege's Restoration Comedy The Man of Mode.

The libertine character in Aphra Behn's Restoration comedy The Rover, Willmore, was assumed by contemporaries to have been modeled on John Wilmot.[20]

Two plays have been directly written about Rochester's life. Stephen Jeffreys wrote The Libertine in 1994; it was staged by the Royal Court Theatre. Craig Baxter wrote The Ministry of Pleasure, which was produced at the Latchmere Theatre in London, in 2004.

The film The Libertine, based on Jeffreys's play, was shown at the 2004 Toronto Film Festival and was released in the UK on November 25, 2005. While taking some artistic liberties, it chronicles Rochester's life, with Johnny Depp as Rochester, Samantha Morton as Elizabeth Barry, John Malkovich as King Charles II, and Rosamund Pike as Elizabeth Malet. Michael Nyman set to music an excerpt of his famous poem, "Signor Dildo" for the film.

Rochester's work and background figures centrally in "Last Bus to Woodstock", an episode of the British TV crime drama Inspector Morse.

 

Notes

1.^ Google books Thomas Hearne, Philip Bliss, and John Buchanan-Brown, The Remains of Thomas Hearne: Reliquiae Hearnianae; Being Extracts from His MS Diaries (London: Fontwell (Sx.) Centaur P., 1966). 122. Accessed May 5, 2007
2.^ Diary of Samuel Pepys — Complete 1665 N.S. at Project Gutenberg Samuel Pepys, entry for 26 May 1665, Diary of Samuel Pepys May 28, 1665. Accessed May 5, 2007
3.^ Google books Charles Beauclerk, Nell Gwyn: Mistress to a King (New York: Grove, 2005), 272. Accessed May 15, 2007
4.^ Johnson, Profane Wit, 182-83
5.^ Johnson, Profane Wit, 250-53
6.^ Timbs, John. Doctors and patients, or, Anecdotes of the Medical World and Curiosities of Medicine. London: Richard Bentley and Son (1876), p.151.
7.^ Alcock, Thomas. "Epistle Dedicatory" to Lord Rochester, _The Famous Pathologist or The Noble Mountebank._" Ed. and introd. Vivian de Sola Pinto. Nottingham: Sisson and Parker Ltd. (1961), pp. 35-38
8.^ Johnson, Profane Wit, 327-43
9.^ Alexander Pope, "First Epistle of the Second Book of Horace", line 108.
10.^ Rochester composed at least 10 versions of Impromptus on Charles II luminarium.org
11.^ A thorough discourse concerning this epigram and the king's response can be found from the 19th to 21st paragraph of the Forward of the "The Tryal of William Penn and William Mead" [1]
12.^ IN BRIEF: Trump picks new 'Apprentice'; Bawdy 17th century play auctioned
13.^ Beinecke Rare Book & Manuscript Library at the Yale University
14.^ Horace Walpole, A Catalogue of the Royal and Noble Authors of England, 1758.
15.^ Moll Flanders at Project Gutenberg Daniel Defoe, The Life And Misfortunes of Moll Flanders
16.^ Great Books Online, François Marie Arouet de Voltaire (1694–1778). "Letter XXI—On the Earl of Rochester and Mr. Waller" Letters on the English. The Harvard Classics. 1909–14, Bartleby.com, Accessed May 15, 2007
17.^ Notes and Queries, No.8, Dec 22, 1849 at Project Gutenberg Goethe quotes Rochester without attribution.
18.^ William Hazlitt, Select British Poets (1824)
19.^ William Hazlitt, Lectures on the English Poets at Project Gutenberg
20.^ Diamond, Elin, "Gestus and Signature in Aphra Behn's The Rover." English Literary History (ELH), Vol. 56, No. 3 (Autumn, 1989): 528.

Further reading

Some Account of the Life and Death of John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester by Gilbert Burnet (Munroe and Francis, 1812)
Greene, Graham (1974). Lord Rochester's Monkey, being the Life of John Wilmot, Second Earl of Rochester. New York: The Bodley Head. ASIN B000J30NL4.
Johnson, James William (2004). A Profane Wit: The Life of John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester. Rochester, NY.: University of Rochester Press. ISBN 1-58046-170-0.
Lamb, Jeremy (New edition, 2005). So Idle a Rogue: The Life and Death of Lord Rochester. Sutton. pp. 288 pages. ISBN 0-7509-3913-3.
Wilmot, John (1999). The Works of John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester. Ed. Harold Love.. New York: Oxford University Press. ISBN 0198183674.
Wilmot, John; David M. Vieth, ed. (New edition, 2002). The Complete Poems of John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press. pp. 256 pages. ISBN 0-300-09713-1.
Wilmot, John (2002). The Debt to Pleasure. New York: Routledge. pp. 140 pages. ISBN 0-415-94084-2.