The Decade List: (Some of) The Worst Films (2002)

Though containing 29 titles, my 'Worst of 2002' feels a little slim. Should I have includes Gangs of New York? I'm not sure. In fact I think I was rather skeptical about including any film that didn't completely repulse me; however, my repulsion can't solely be directed at self-declared, pretend American "indies" (that word!) like the utterly deplorable Igby Goes Down, Pumpkin (which may have redeemed its otherwise terrible-ness with its final shot), The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys, Spun (someone once yelled at me for disliking this, explaining that I just didn't understand meth-heads) and Secretary (whose admirers I will never understand, other than the posse of female co-workers I knew who got weak in the knees for James Spader and his spankings). I think I've actually gotten myself into a rhythm in which I don't have to see bad films through occupying my time with films I know are worthy or I'm told are (by reputable individuals).

For additional reading, check out my post on Larry Clark's Ken Park, still without official US distribution, which was part of an abruptly aborted series on Films I Hate (it's paired with a piece on Boxing Helena where my youthful brashness is on high). I'm not sure that I've written about any of the others in any detail, other than Luster, which was a big focus in my undergrad thesis on the death of New Queer Cinema.

- Better Luck Tomorrow - d. Justin Lin - USA
- The Child I Never Was [Ein Leben lang kurze Hosen tragen] - d. Kai S. Peck - Germany
- The Country Bears - d. Peter Hastings - USA
- The Crime of Padre Amaro [El crimen del padre Amaro] - d. Carlos Carrera - Mexico/Spain/Argentina/France
- The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys - d. Peter Care - USA
- Food of Love - d. Ventura Pons - Spain/Germany
- Garage Days - d. Alex Proyas - Australia
- Hero - d. Zhang Yimou - Hong Kong/China
- Ibiza Dream [El sueño de Ibiza] - d. Igor Fioravanti - Spain
- Igby Goes Down - d. Burr Steers - USA
- Juwanna Mann - d. Jesse Vaughan - USA
- Ken Park - d. Larry Clark, Edward Lachman - USA/Netherlands/France
- Life or Something Like It - d. Stephen Herek - USA
- Luster - d. Everett Lewis - USA
- Merci Docteur Ray! - d. Andrew Litvack - France/USA
- Mr. Deeds - d. Steven Brill - USA
- New Best Friend - d. Zoe Clarke-Williams - USA
- Panic Room - d. David Fincher - USA
- Pumpkin - d. Anthony Abrams, Adam Larson Broder - USA
- Queen of the Damned - d. Michael Rymer - USA/Australia
- Secretary - d. Steven Shainberg - USA
- Signs - d. M. Night Shyamalan - USA
- Spun - d. Jonas Åkerlund - USA
- Star Wars: Episode 2 - Attack of the Clones - d. George Lucas - USA
- Swept Away - d. Guy Ritchie - UK/Italy
- Teenage Caveman - d. Larry Clark - USA
- La vie promise - d. Olivier Dahan - France
- When Boys Fly - d. Stewart Halpern-Fingerhut, Lenid Rolov - USA
- XXX - d. Rob Cohen - USA

The Decade List: (Some of) The Worst Films (2001)

Some annotations: 2001 was a bad year for brother filmmaking teams. Whether together (From Hell, Out Cold) or separate (Head Over Heels, Happy Campers), I'm not sure there was a successful fraternal outing in 2001; the Waters brothers, really, have only been involved in two decent films (Heathers, Mean Girls). Though I was instructed not to see Tony's Spy Game, the Scott brothers didn't fare as well either. While the year was also bad for a few repeat actors (Bijou Phillips and the late Brad Renfro both starred in two films together), it was the worst for poor Penélope Cruz, who shows up in four of the worst films I saw from 2001; I don't even like to remember there was a time where I wasn't smitten with her (or a time when she dated someone with a similar last name to hers). But I wouldn't like to imply that all the films I've listed below are without some merit, so I've saved the salvagable bits from a few of the films below.

All About Lily Chou-Chou: the opening scene; Blow: Paul Reubens; Brotherhood of the Wolf: Monica Bellucci; Bully: Bijou Phillips, surprisingly, and Nick Stahl; Ghost World: the Bollywood film Enid (Thora Birch) dances along to from Gumnaam, but not the fact that she's dancing along to it; Life as a House: when angsty, Marilyn Manson-loving teen hooker Hayden Christensen (whose character was obviously researched by watching news programs about "troubled teens") sexually asphyxiates himself whilst masturbating (about 3 minutes in); Moulin Rouge!: the tango scene to The Police's "Roxanne," the only scene where they appear to have let someone other than the blind, speedhead edit the film; The Shipping News: both Judi Dench, whose not-so-secretive bulldyke pisses on the ashes of her dead brother, and Cate Blanchett, who would play crazy again opposite Dench (again playing a lesbian) in the more wonderfully awful Notes on a Scandal; Suriyothai: Nothing, but I should mention that I only saw the original Thai version and not the Francis Ford Coppola edit, which had to be better than what I saw; and Vanilla Sky: Cameron Diaz defending her intense feelings for Tom Cruise by yelling, "I swallowed your cum; that means something!"

- 13 Ghosts - dir. Steve Beck - USA/Canada
- All About Lily Chou-Chou - dir. Shunji Iwai - Japan
- Blow - dir. Ted Demme - USA
- Brotherhood of the Wolf [Pacte des loups] - dir. Christophe Gans - France
- Bully - dir. Larry Clark - USA/France
- Captain Corelli's Mandolin - dir. John Madden - UK/USA/France
- Crush - dir. John McKay - UK/Germany
- Don't Tempt Me [Sin noticias de Dios] - dir. Agustín Díaz Yanes - Spain/Mexico/Italy/France
- From Hell - dir. Albert Hughes, Allen Hughes - USA
- Ghost World - dir. Terry Zwigoff - USA/UK/Germany
- Hannibal - dir. Ridley Scott - USA/UK
- Happy Campers - dir. Daniel Waters - USA
- Head Over Heels - dir. Mark Waters - USA
- Hey, Happy - dir. Noam Gonick - Canada
- His Secret Life [Le fate ignoranti] - dir. Ferzan Ozpetek - Italy/France
- Life As a House - dir. Irwin Winkler - USA
- Mad Love [Juana la Loca] - dir. Vicente Aranda - Spain/Portugal/Italy
- Moulin Rouge! - dir. Baz Luhrmann - Australia/USA
- Original Sin - dir. Michael Cristofer - USA/France
- Out Cold - dir. Brendan Malloy, Emmett Malloy - USA
- Pearl Harbor - dir. Michael Bay - USA
- Planet of the Apes - dir. Tim Burton - USA
- Prozac Nation - dir. Erik Skjoldbjærg - USA/Germany
- River, The [Joki] - dir. Jarmo Lampela - Finland
- Shipping News, The - dir. Lasse Hallström - USA
- Suriyothai [The Legend of Suriyothai] - dir. Prince Chatrichalerm Yukol - Thailand
- Tart - dir. Christina Wayne - USA/Canada
- Tomcats - dir. Gregory Poirier - USA
- Vanilla Sky - dir. Cameron Crowe - USA