Rock Band Wish List #4: I Am PWNed by Activision

Like Orly Taitz in the grip of another craziness-burp on national TV, I've gone on about Rock Band with off-putting regularity over recent months, which makes me feel bad after Canyon was kind enough to buy me Guitar Hero World Tour for Christmas. For the record, I think Neversoft have done a terrific job of taking over the Guitar Hero brand from Harmonix, though their note-placements on some tracks are kinda weird, especially on Guitar Hero III. Sometimes it makes sense, sometimes it can ruin a song. That said, I think their Medium level is more of a challenge, which is nice for me at my current skill level (bored by Rock Band Medium, taxed almost too much by Rock Band Hard), and there are some innovations on Guitar Hero World Tour that Harmonix should seriously consider adopting. Having a five-second pause after you restart a level is a brilliant move (how many times have I had to pause a Rock Band level and then missed six notes when I pressed Resume?), and I found their noteless Beginners level very useful for getting used to the drums. Also, the Music Studio is a superb addition, and though I've not had enough time to really give it a workout, even just a cursory attempt shows how much depth it has. My kudos to all involved. I'm sure they will all appreciate my fragrant and robust kudos.


Still, Rock Band is my religion music game of choice. The interface is cleaner, the flow of the note-placements is far smoother, and the songs available for download are incredible. At least one guest to our house has been converted to the Rock Band cause after seeing the awe-inspiring selection. Guitar Hero's selection is deeply disappointing, apart from the odd highlight: Born to Run and My Lucky Day by The Boss, an Eagles of Death Metal pack containing Cherry Cola, lots of Jimi. That's fine, but some of their selections are utterly overshadowed by Rock Band. Example: You can get Debaser and Monkey Gone To Heaven, but with Rock Band you can get all of Doolittle. Rock Band FTW. Even so, I know I'll be getting Guitar Hero 5, because the song selection is genuinely surprising, and has given the franchise a shot in the arm. The final list was released last week, and some inspired choices have made me very excited.

• 3 Doors Down - "Kryptonite"
• A Perfect Circle - "Judith"
• AFI - "Medicate"
• Arctic Monkeys - "Brianstorm"
• Attack! Attack! UK - "You And Me"
• Band Of Horses - "Cigarettes, Wedding Bands"
• Beastie Boys - "Gratitude"
• Beck - "Gamma Ray"
• Billy Idol - "Dancing With Myself"
• Billy Squier - "Lonely Is The Night"
• Blink-182 - "The Rock Show"
• Blur - "Song 2"
• Bob Dylan - "All Along The Watchtower"
• Bon Jovi - "You Give Love A Bad Name"
• Brand New - "Sowing Season (Yeah)"
• The Bronx - "Six Days A Week"
• Bush - "Comedown"
• Children Of Bodom - "Done With Everything, Die For Nothing"
• Coldplay - "In My Place"
• Darker My Love - "Blue Day"
• Darkest Hour - "Demon(s)"
• David Bowie - "Fame"
• Deep Purple - "Woman From Tokyo ('99 Remix)"
• The Derek Trucks Band - "Younk Funk"
• Dire Straits - "Sultans Of Swing"
• The Duke Spirit - "Send A Little Love Token"
• Duran Duran - "Hungry Like The Wolf"
• Eagles Of Death Metal - "Wannabe In L.A."
• Elliott Smith - "L.A."
• Elton John - "Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting)"
• Face To Face - "Disconnected"
• Garbage - "Only Happy When It Rains"
• Gorillaz - "Feel Good Inc."
• Gov't Mule - "Streamline Woman"
• Grand Funk Railroad - "We're An American Band"
• Iggy Pop - "Lust For Life (Live)"
• Iron Maiden - "2 Minutes To Midnight"
• Jeff Beck - "Scatterbrain (Live)"
• Jimmy Eat World - "Bleed American"
• John Mellencamp - "Hurts So Good"
• Johnny Cash - "Ring Of Fire"
• Kaiser Chiefs - "Never Miss A Beat"
• King Crimson - "21st Century Schizoid Man"
• Kings Of Leon - "Sex On Fire"
• Kiss - "Shout It Out Loud"
• Love and Rockets - "Mirror People"
• Megadeth - "Sweating Bullets"
• Motley Crue - "Looks That Kill"
• Muse - "Plug In Baby"
• My Morning Jacket - "One Big Holiday"
• Nirvana - "Lithium (Live)"
• Nirvana - "Smells Like Teen Spirit"
• No Doubt - "Ex-Girlfriend"
• Peter Frampton - "Do You Feel Like We Do? (Live)"
• The Police - "So Lonely"
• Public Enemy Featuring Zakk Wylde - "Bring the Noise 20XX"
• Queen & David Bowie - "Under Pressure"
• Queens Of The Stone Age - "Make It Wit Chu"
• Rammstein - "Du Hast"
• The Rolling Stones - "Sympathy For The Devil"
• Rose Hill Drive - "Sneak Out"
• Rush - "The Spirit Of Radio (Live)"
• Santana - "No One To Depend On (Live)"
• Scars On Broadway - "They Say"
• Screaming Trees - "Nearly Lost You"
• Smashing Pumpkins - "Bullet With Butterfly Wings"
• Sonic Youth - "Incinerate"
• Spacehog - "In The Meantime"
• Stevie Wonder - "Superstition"
• Sublime - "What I Got"
• Sunny Day Real Estate - "Seven"
• T. Rex - "20th Century Boy"
• The Killers - "All The Pretty Faces"
• The Raconteurs - "Steady As She Goes"
• The Sword - "Maiden, Mother & Crone"
• Thin Lizzy - "Jailbreak"
• Thrice - "Deadbolt"
• Tom Petty - "Runnin' Down A Dream"
• Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - "American Girl"
• TV On The Radio - "Wolf Like Me"
• Vampire Weekend - "A-Punk"
• Weezer - "Why Bother?"
• The White Stripes - "Blue Orchid"
• Wild Cherry - "Play That Funky Music"
• Wolfmother - "Back Round"

Of course, while that's a tasty list, Rock Band has already stolen some of the thunder by releasing some of those songs as download content. Over the last year, we have downloaded Nearly Lost You by Screaming Trees, Wolf Like Me by TV On The Radio and Sex on Fire by Kings of Leon, and The Rock Show by Blink-182 came out last week (how long until we get all of Dude Ranch or Enema of the State, sans stupid "comedy" tracks?). Many more of these songs will become available soon, I'm sure. Still, hats off to Activision for making Guitar Hero more inclusive than it has been in the past. As I've always maintained, these games can do more than rock out. They can bring different genres of popular music into the fold, and Guitar Hero 5 is definitely doing that.


I cannot even begin to express my joy at seeing Stevie Wonder represented in a game so often determined to plough a very boring pure rock format. It makes me wonder if there's any way to get all of Talking Book into the game or, even better, all of Innervisions (my favourite Stevie album). Indie nerds everywhere must be psyched at the appearances by Band of Horses -- with a track from their incredibly moving sophomore album -- and Elliott Smith. Actually, someone questioned the inclusion of the latter on the AV Club, worrying that Smith's family have become lax in holding onto the rights of his songs. To be honest, while that commenter has a point, I'd hope his family gets a chance to profit from his songwriting genius in a way he never really got a chance to. It's not because I'm eager to "play" one of his songs. Honest.


Other highly anticipated tracks in that list (for me, at least) include Bullet With Butterfly Wings by the Pumpkins¹ and Incinerate by Sonic Youth (the highlight of their last Geffen album Rather Ripped), but the songs that inspired the title of this Wish List post are Plug In Baby by Muse, Blue Orchid by The White Stripes, and A-Punk by Vampire Weekend. Muse are a band with a sound that usually makes me want to remove my skin and stamp on it, I hate it that much. Nevertheless, Plug In Baby is a madness-inspiring rock anthem I am unable to resist, even if I were to use protective enchantments from ancient Cimmeria, and had planned a Wish List entry about it. I'd even found the video out and everything. Here it is. It's a monster song.



I'm not sure I would have picked those songs by The Stripes and The Weekend - I'd plump for Seven Nation Army and Oxford Comma - but I'm thrilled anyway, especially by Blue Orchid. So far the only Jack White songs available are his Bond theme with Alicia Keys (and it's great fun to play), some Raconteurs stuff, and three songs from the Dead Weather album Horehound. Treat You Like A Mother is like Bohemian Rhapsody re-written and performed by a sleazy old tramp who has broken into your house and hides under the stairs with his collection of doll hair, and thus is one of the greatest songs of our time. The other two are excessively boring. That's why we need primo Jack White music in our music games, thank you. Preferably White Stripes stuff. What with The White Stripes being the best band in the world, and all. Just sayin'.


So, where next for the Wish List? As a lazy way to maintain the blog while I work on other stuff (by which I do not mean using Twitter to bitch about bad movies), I intend to keep going, especially because -- in these days where laziness and stress battle it out for dominion of my soul -- the game that once was just a pastime has now become a passion, so much so that I will almost certainly be buying DJ Hero even though dance music doesn't excite me as much as a well-gamified bit of Silversun Pickups². More than that, I see further scope for expansion of the songs available for download, branching out into unexpected genres. More on this as the year progresses.

¹ This song was included because eleven out of ten rock fans polled expressed a wish to whine the lyric "Despite all my rage I'm still just a rat in a cage" in a voice that sounds just like an angry rat in a cage. A bald angry rat in a cage. A bald angry rat in a cage wearing an ELO t-shirt and being chased around said cage by Courtney Love.

² That said, DJ Shadow worked on the mixes, the song list includes Herbie Hancock's Rockit (!!!!), and you can play the game as Grandmaster Flash or DJ Jazzy Jeff. If that doesn't make you want to play the game, well, fair enough. But it should make you want to play the game.

A Not Quite So Large List Of Music I Liked And Hated This Year

I won’t pretend to offer the musical breadth of experience of Admiral Neck (seriously, who has the time to discover, let alone listen to, that amount of music? Someone with too much time on his hands, I tell you), but I won’t let that stop me weighing in with my thoughts on 2008. A red-letter year in many ways, not least in that paramount among its lessons are that you can turn any old rubbish into a hit with a stoopid but memorable chorus and a gimmicky video. Speaking of which:

Song whose transcendent awfulness mesmerised me for months on end of the year
“Rock Star” – Nickelback

I had previously thought “How You Remind Me” was unsurpassable in its horridness. Well done, Nickelback! The curious thing about “Rock Star” is that it took two goes to make it a hit; on its initial release in 2006, it scored some modest success in the US and Canada, but it took the 2007 re-release with the celebrity-packed video to make it a global smasheroo. It was the second biggest selling track of 2008 in the UK. It was the second biggest selling track of 2008 in the UK. This might seem to prove that you can sell anything with slebs these days, as Britain’s supermarkets are currently jostling to prove, but I think it’s something else about the video: it shows real people alongside – i.e. OMG equal to!!! – celebrities. You can be a rock star, just like Chad Kroeger! Oh.

I was amused to read the other day that sofa retailer DFS has had its commercial that used “Rock Star” banned from TV, ostensibly because it indicated that – no! – its sofas were bigger than they actually are. Exaggeration? In advertising? What is the world coming to? Anyway, I think we know the real reason. Not for the first time, Popjustice’s Peter Robinson managed to sum up my feelings perfectly.

Song I wanted to PUNCH in its STUPID FACE of the year
“I Kissed A Girl” – Katy Perry

What’s more tiresome than would-be titillating pseudo-lesbianism from a straight girl? Recording an irritating, strident, disingenuous (“I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it”, indeed) and bloody ubiquitous pop song about it. Perry appears to have a lot of things going for her, not least a gung-ho gameness and that unusual throaty contralto, so why resort to this fraudulent, adolescent, attention-seeking posturing? As if that weren’t bad enough, the song sounds horribly artificial and barely deviates off a solitary note – it was apparently created with nothing but ProTools and a lascivious smirk. Speaking of which:

Album that needed only one and a half listens to convince me that it is the biggest piece-of-shit folly of this or any other year
Chinese Democracy – Guns N’ Roses

Fucking hell.

Two-thirds-of-a-good-albums of the year
Do You Like Rock Music? – British Sea Power
Santogold – Santogold
Sunday At Devil Dirt – Isobel Campbell & Mark Lanegan
Me And Armini – Emiliana Torrini

All have six to eight good tracks – even some great tracks, particularly BSP and Santogold – then, “Will this do?”. I had a rant all lined up about how downloads are killing the traditional album format, but I came to my senses: of course albums have always been patchy and padded, and two-thirds of a good album is still a good album. I enjoyed all those mentioned above very much. Actually, maybe downloads will help usher in a period in which the weak album track is weeded out. Maybe it will see the end of the very concept of “album track”. It hasn’t happened yet, though.



Disappointing album of the year
Poor Man’s Heaven – Seth Lakeman

As I’ve posted previously, this is by no means a terrible record, but his previous two albums were so amazing that it’s inevitably a letdown. Lakeman’s decision to cut back on the fiddle in favour of jangly-jangly guitar ballads is perplexing, because Poor Man’s Heaven is at its best when it’s at its rowdiest, and towards the end it’s just boring. Considering how receptive the critics and public were prepared to be, it goes down as a missed opportunity.

Album I (perhaps shamefully) did not buy because of its reviews of the year
Only By The Night – Kings Of Leon

Not because critics said it wasn’t that good, but because they said it showed KOL were aiming for a mainstream, arena-rock audience. Because Of The Times, with its off-kilter desolation and soul-shuddering grooves, was my favourite album of 2007 and one of the year’s biggest surprises, so to hear the band had gone “straight” discouraged me. That, and the juvenile lyrics to “Sex On Fire”. Ah, I’ll probably get it eventually.

Overrated album of the year
Songs In A&E – Spiritualized

Proof positive, as if any were needed, that the press loves a good narrative above all. Jason Pierce produced Songs In A&E after he ::checks Wikipedia:: contracted advanced periorbital cellulitis with bilateral pneumonia with rapid deterioration, requiring intensive care and c-pap for type 1 respiratory failure. The dude nearly died, genuinely, and that’s a great story. The album sounds, well, like someone who nearly died recently. It’s moving in places, with a couple of great moments (“Sweet Talk”, “Soul On Fire”), but it is emphatically not in the same league as Ladies & Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space or the underappreciated Let It Come Down, and at times just sounds like a honking mess.

Runner-up: Vampire Weekend – Vampire Weekend
Why yes, I would like some warmed-over mid-80s Paul Simon riffs with my hipster New York indie rock, thanks! I’ll stick with Graceland, thanks. And their cavalier attitude to punctuation upsets me.

Underrated album of the year
Superabundance – The Young Knives

Although it has nothing as immediate as the terrific singles “She’s Attracted To” and “Here Comes The Rumour Mill” from Voices Of Animals And Men, Superabundance is thoughtful and resonant, with tunes that wriggle inside your brain and set up a shop selling catchiness. “Turn Tail” is a glorious paean to disillusionment and resignation that might be the best thing they’ve written.



Runner-up: Consolers Of The Lonely – The Raconteurs
I’m convinced most people’s problem with this band is that they’re billed a “supergroup” when they’re nothing of the sort. But Jack White’s side project (with apologies to co-songwriter Brendan Benson) put out another great album this year, full of exhilarating blues riffs, hilarious melodrama and classic pop hooks.

Video of the year
“The Boy Does Nothing” – Alesha Dixon

Just because.



As a friend of Shades Of Caruso commented recently, “Oh, Harvey.” Bet her ex feels pretty fricking dumb right about now – as does Polydor, the record label that dropped her in 2006 and subsequently tried to re-sign her following her post-Strictly Come Dancing renaissance. (What do you know, she turned them down.) I’d like to take this opportunity to draw your attention to an earlier fantastic single, “Knockdown”, which inexplicably failed to make the UK Top 40.

Overexposed video of the year
Every single Rihanna video. I cannot tell the difference but they are ALL on EVERY MUSIC CHANNEL on my TV ALL THE TIME. Rihanna deservedly had a huge hit in 2007 with the very brilliant “Umbrella”, but now she seems less a popstar and more a charmless marionette who wears unflattering outfits while pretentious directors think up ways to make her MOR&B seem edgy.

Singles of the year
1. “Fascination” – Alphabeat
2. “I Will Possess Your Heart” – Death Cab For Cutie
3. “The Hurlers” – Seth Lakeman
4. “No Lucifer” – British Sea Power
5. “Kids” – MGMT
6. “L.E.S Artistes” – Santogold
7. “Waving Flags” – British Sea Power
8. “American Boy” – Estelle
9. “Dance Wiv Me” – Dizzee Rascal/Calvin Harris
10. “Black And Gold” – Sam Sparro

As Admiral Neck mentioned, this is not generally considered a vintage year for music, but what 2008 had in abundance was – to use the Smash Hits! vernacular for a moment (should that be “ver ’nacular”?) – amazingly brilliant pop singles.



None was better than Alphabeat’s debut release, about which everything was completely perfect, from its singers’ perky fresh-scrubbed faces to that wonderful “woah-oh, woah-oh-oh”. Estelle and Dizzee Rascal’s UK number ones ran it close, though – I admire Kanye West’s solo work more than I really like it, and I thought his collaboration with Estelle was the pick of his 2008 work. Other shiny pop gems included the aforementioned “The Boy Does Nothing”, Duffy’s “Mercy” (until you hear it for the 9,000th time), Timbaland’s “The Way I Are” and the irresistible “That’s Not My Name” by the Ting Tings. I wish that wasn’t their name, because I feel stupid just typing it. Even some of the year’s lesser pop hits had undeniable choruses: “Can’t Speak French” and “The Promise” by Girls Aloud, will.i.am’s “Heartbreaker” and, yes, Britney’s “Womanizer” (try getting it out of your head – I guarantee you can’t). Even Pink’s grating “So What” had a fab chorus hidden amid its pissy squawking. Choruses are back back back!

While MGMT’s “Time To Pretend” was everywhere, I prefer “Kids”, with its plaintive, almost mournful “Control yourself/Take only what you neeeeeeeeed from it” refrain. Similarly, although Santogold’s “Say Aha” and “Creator” are overfamiliar from adverts, the haunting and ballsy “L.E.S Artistes” still sounds thrilling. And I love its crazy equine video. She’s like a deadpan, less condescending Gwen Stefani.



(Incidentally, I’ve picked “Black And Gold” despite having no association with the religious sentiments expressed therein by Mr Sparro. I choose to read it as a simple love song. However, if it really is a paean to God, then perhaps we’ll have to revise the truism that the Devil has the best tunes because this song is bloody fantastic.)

Triumphant comeback of the year
Mountain Battles – The Breeders

While the cognoscenti were focusing on the usual East Coast hipsters and high-profile R&B producers, a 47-year-old woman from Ohio was quietly making the coolest music of the year. Congratulations, that last sentence – you are the most wanky music-mag phrase I have ever written! The Breeders have always sounded out of their time: “Cannonball” might be synonymous with early-1990s alterna-rock, but it hardly epitomises it. By turns witty, penetrating, silly and heartbreaking, with its ultra-spare percussion and permanent throbbing fuzz, Mountain Battles sounds like nothing else in 2008. There are no official videos, but here’s some footage of Kim Deal and co setting up for a party while “Bang On” plays over the top.



Album I listened to most in 2008, although it was released in 2007
Cease To Begin – Band Of Horses

A very nearly perfect record, and certainly perfect for the time when I acquired it, just weeks after relocating from the city (well, suburbs) to a small town surrounded by countryside. Cease To Begin’s bucolic dreaminess and sense of isolation amid familiarity enveloped and comforted me, and I listened so much that my favourite track changed half a dozen times. Currently it’s the almost oppressively beautiful “Marry Song”.



Unquestionably my favourite album of the year
Narrow Stairs – Death Cab For Cutie

The title is surely ironic. Narrow Stairs is an expansive, easygoing album that never requires effort – it’s not difficult; it’s happy to be enjoyed. Aided by Ben Gibbard’s most lucid, evocative storytelling to date, this deceptively simple record draws you in and wraps itself around you. Dusty, warm and welcoming, it’s the best album of 2008, and it might be Death Cab’s best yet.

To end, here’s a hilariously literal fan video for one of my favourite tracks, “Grapevine Fires”.