Ridulous Things

When you travel, staying in strange places, and doing different things, a lot of ridiculous things happen from time to time. So, lest we forget, here are some of the more unusual things that have happened so far.

Sally and I were attacked in our bed by a strange object.

It was our last night in Fiji. We decided to stay at a small beach resort near the airport. It had been a nice evening, but we were perhaps a little anxious since we were leaving, and had to get up for an early morning flight. Sally got into bed, and just as I was getting in, she turned out the light above the bed. And then she screamed. “There’s something in the bed!” I immediately struck it with the TV remote control that I just happened to have in my hand. But as I fell back, I too felt something hurt me. I turned over, and hit it again.

It was a burning hot light bulb that had fallen out of its socket above the bed. I still have a scar on my back to remind me of this near life threatening episode.

How do you pronounce it?

Throughout New Zealand, most of the place names are old Maori words. Rarely, do I get the pronunciation correct. So, as we were leaving Tauranga, I asked the hotel clerk how to pronounce Taupo, the next place we were planning to visit. “It’s easy” he said. “Remember toe, and paw, a dog’s paw.” So I did.

But people kept giving me strange looks when I asked directions to Toe-Paw. When we arrived I found out why. It’s not Toe-Paw….it’s Taw-Poe! I guess the clerk must have been dyslexic.

Cabbages and Golf Clubs

At the last minute we decided not to bring our clubs. But we were surprised to discover that club rentals were the same cost as green fees at some places. I briefly thought about buying clubs, but they were much more expensive than in Canada. So imagine our reaction as we were leaving Woolworths, a grocery store chain in NZ, and Sally spots brand new golf clubs in a dusty bag and pull cart, propped up against the window by the exit.

Does Woolworths sell golf clubs? We decide to go back and check with a shop assistant. “Well yes and no. We did on a special promotion, but these are the only ones left,” she says. “How much are they”, Sally asks. The shop assistant isn’t sure, but thinks they might be around $299. So we set off to find someone who might know. Eventually we find the store manager, and two of his assistants walking around. “How much are the golf clubs in the window” we ask. “It’s a terrible game” replies one of the assistant managers. “I should know; I’m a Scot!”

We explain that we are Canadians, and need some cheap clubs. Well he says, they are $200 but he’d like to sell them, so make an offer. “I suggest $100, or $125. “They’re yours”, he says, and instructs the check-out girl accordingly. So, after posing for photographs, we walk out. When we get to the parking lot, Sally asks. “Did you check to see if they are right-handed?” “It doesn’t matter, I replied. If they’re not, I’ll change my swing.”

We did check, and they were right handed. Furthermore, there was even a sand wedge! To top it all off, our hotel in Wellington has a corporate membership with Shandon Golf Club, and as a guest, they can offer me and three colleagues the opportunity for a round of golf. Green fees are complimentary. I’m off this afternoon. Let’s see if the club heads fall off.